All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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