You were right. It hurts to walk today.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize