if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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