I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
