I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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