you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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