The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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