At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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