I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
