But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
