Im at strip club and am horny
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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