"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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