Small penises have feelings too.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
