one might say we're banned from that church
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
