can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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