The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize