Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He kissed a someone with a penis
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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