There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she told me i tasted like america
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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