I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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