Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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