Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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