Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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