this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
