yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
