"it" just moved
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
