My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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