bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
