Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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