You really coming over, don't trick.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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