We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
