I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
