is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
