whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it glows. i had to have it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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