the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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