Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
