She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize