woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize