Don't make out with my wife yet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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