and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
