we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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