Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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