Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize