are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
