I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
