I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
