This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
