who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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