all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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