Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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