And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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