Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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