so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
