fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
