she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
