College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
