We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
why is half of my head shaved?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
