His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
