a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
