Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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