I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
