Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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